


The Belonging you Seek

by NalaBLT



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Happy Ending, Movie: Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, World Between Worlds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 05:53:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21911032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NalaBLT/pseuds/NalaBLT
Summary: **RISE OF SKYWALKER SPOILERS** For those of you like me who need closure. This doesn't change what happened at the end of the movie, this is just what I like to think happens after the credits roll.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

Ben could feel the force flowing between the two of them. They were a dyad in the force. Together they were one. He can feel his life force draining. Ben knows it’ll kill him but it doesn’t matter anymore, he would give anything to save her. 

Suddenly he feels a hand reach up and touch his hand resting on her abdomen. She looks up at him in disbelief.

“Ben?” 

She reaches up and touches his cheek and for the first time in forever, Ben smiles. She pulls him into a kiss and he doesn’t protest. He never wants this moment to end. Once they finally break the kiss off he stares into her beautiful eyes. Ben takes in her every feature as he feels the life draining from him. He collapses while Rey still holds on tight to him. Then everything goes dark. 

He slowly opens his eyes, squinting from the light blinding him. Once his eyes adjust to the brightness he takes in his surroundings. It’s an endless plain of white. 

“I’ve missed you” a soft voice says behind him.

He turns around to see his mother, in white robes, glowing light blue. He looks down at his body. He is now in a gray tunic and pants and just like his mother, he is transparent and glowing. 

He looks back up, relieved that she’s still there. It’s been so long.

“Mom” 

Before she can even speak a word Ben is running towards her and he embraces her in a tight hug. He never wants to let go.

“I’m sorry mom. I’m so so sorry. For everything” 

He’s crying now, the tears falling freely down his face, soaking into Leias robe. He doesn’t hold back. He’s tired of holding back. After a few minutes he loosens his hold on his mother so he can look at her. 

“I knew you’d find your way back to the light Ben” 

“I love you so much mom” says Ben as he pulls her in for another hug. After another long moment he feels a hand on his shoulder. 

“I told you I’d be seeing you around kid” 

“Uncle Luke” 

“Ben, I’m sorry for everything I put you through. I’m sorry for that night at the academy. I’m sorr—“

“I know, uncle Luke. I’m sorry too” 

The three of them embrace each other and Ben takes in every moment. It’s been so long since he felt this kind of love. For the longest time, all he knew was hatred, here he would finally know  
peace. 

“Ben there’s someone I think you should meet” says Luke as the three of them break off the hug.

Ben feels another presence behind him. He turns around to see a young man with long brown hair and a scar right beside his eye. 

“Grandfather?” Ben spoke quietly. Almost a whisper. Why was he showing himself now? After all these years of asking for his guidance, he decides to show up now. Ben could feel the slightest bit of anger build up inside him but he quickly calmed himself down. Anger leads to the dark side, and Ben would never make that mistake ever again. 

“I’ve wanted to speak with you for so long my grandson. The darkness surrounding you for all those years was just so strong. I could never reach out to you. But you overcame it. I’m so proud of you.” 

Ben stands there is disbelief, unmoving. 

“You finished what I started Ben. You did for Rey what I failed to do for your grandmother.” 

“But I can’t protect her anymore.” 

“You underestimate yourself Ben. She’s waiting for you.”

Ben turns around to face Luke and Leia again. Leia gives him nod “Go to her Ben” 

He nods back and closes his eyes and slows his breathing. He can feel the force flowing between them and reaches out to her. Even in death, the force bond is still present and as strong as ever. 

When Ben opens his eyes he finds himself on a desert planet. Rey’s back is to him. She is looking out at the twin suns setting. ‘This must be tatooine’ Ben thinks to himself. This is where it all started. “I told you I’d come back for you sweetheart” 

Rey spins around quickly and sees a blue figure standing before her. “Ben?” She whispers. She’s completely still, in shock. 

Ben smiles and gives her a small nod. Without a second thought Rey sprints into his arms, almost causing him to fall down. She holds him tight. Even though he’s a ghost she can still hold him as if he was physically there. She can still feel his warmth. “I’m never letting you go” She says. 

Her head is buried in his shoulder and he can feel her tears soaking into his robes. He doesn’t care though. He strokes her hair until she lifts her head up. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying but she’s still so beautiful. She leans in for another kiss and Ben leans in as well to meet her in the middle. 

“I love you Rey” says Ben as they break off the kiss.

“I was so scared I’d never see you again. I saw Luke and Leia but not you.” The tears start to fall again and she buries her head in his shoulder once more.

“I’m here Rey. It’s okay. You don’t have to cry anymore. I’m here. I’ll never leave you again.”

Rey felt a warmth in her heart. This is where she was meant to be, in Ben’s arms. She had finally found the belonging she had been seeking out for all those years. She’d never have to be alone again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben can’t quite seem to let go of the past.

Ben and Rey sit down in the sand together and watch the twin suns disappear under the horizon until it is almost completely dark. There was only a slight tint of orange left as the last bit of light faded out for the night. Rey’s head rested on Ben’s shoulder. 

Rey lifts up her head and looks at Ben. He notices the weight of her head lift off his shoulder and turns to meet her gaze. She smiles at him and stands up. She dusts the sand off her hands and gestures towards the Falcon.

“It’s getting late” 

Ben stands up as well and as they walk towards the falcon, he gently grasps Rey’s hand and holds it for the remainder of the walk. For the longest time he longed for her touch. Before, he thought she would take his hand as empress of the galaxy. He wanted her to rule the galaxy beside him. That's what he thought we wanted. Now he realizes that that isn’t what he wanted at all. This moment is what he wanted. He was finally free from those dark thoughts that once consumed him. 

The ramp to the falcon opens up and Ben releases Rey’s hand. She feels the warmth of his hand disappear and turns to see Ben frozen in his tracks staring at the falcon. Even though it’s dark out she can see his expression due to his new blue glow that comes with being a force ghost. She sees his eyes begin to water. 

“I’m not sure I can do it” he says. She can see him lip tremble slightly. 

She didn’t need the force to know what he was feeling at that moment. 

“It’s ok to hurt Ben” 

He stares at the ship for a long moment, lost in his thoughts. Rey opens her mouth to speak but Ben speaks up before she gets the chance.

“I saw him. After you healed me. He still cared for me. After all the suffering I caused… he still cared for me... and I killed him.” 

Ben drops to his knees in the sand. Tears are falling freely down his face now but he doesn’t sob or even try to wipe the tears away. Rey kneels down next to him and takes his hand in hers. 

“When Han walked out on that bridge he knew what would happen. He gave his life so you could come back home, so you could be here. It’s ok to feel this way Ben.” 

Memories of the falcon flashed in Ben's head. 

Chewie carried him on his shoulders as he played with his model x-wing. He giggled as chewie ran thought out the halls of the falcon.

Another memory flashed of him sitting on his father's lap as he showed him the controls of the falcon. He didn’t understand anything of what his dad was saying but he still paid close attention. “One day this ship will be yours kid.” 

Then the darker memories came

His parents had woken him up. They were arguing. It was quiet but he could make out bits and pieces of their conversation.

“He’s too young to go with Luke” 

“He needs to learn how to control his powers, he’s dangerous” 

Once again his surroundings changed. 

He was in his bedroom. His parents had put him to bed but he couldn’t sleep. A spine-chilling voice whispered in his mind, “They don’t want you. You’re dangerous. They’re going to send you away because they’re afraid of you” 

Ben sucks in a deep breath as he’s pulled out of his vision. His eyes dart around until they are met with Rey’s concerned look. He pulls her into a tight hug and she gently rubs his back in an attempt to calm him. 

“It’s ok Ben. Snoke is gone, Palpatine is dead. You’re safe.” 

Ben is trembling now. 

“Let’s head inside, it’s getting cold” 

Ben stays with her throughout the night. Never once does he leave.They sleep on one of the small beds in the crew's quarters. Ben's back is against the wall giving Rey enough room to fit into the bed as well. Its cramped and he barely fits on it let alone the both of them but they make it work. Rey didn’t mind, she was glad he was here. She was so terrified after she saw Luke and Leias force ghosts. It wasn’t until they disappeared when she realized Ben wasn’t there. Was exegol the last time she’d ever get to hold him in her arms? But when she turned around and her eyes met his, all that worry faded. He was here. 

His arms were wrapped around her as they slept soundly. His ghostly figure was solid beneath her fingertips. She could feel his warmth as she slept curled up next to him. He held her tightly and for the first time Rey felt like she belonged. Rey loved her time with the resistance, especially with Finn, but no matter how much time she spent with them she just felt incomplete. No one understood her. But Ben did, and she belonged with Ben.

Ben is the first to wake. He gets out of bed careful not to wake Rey which deemed to be a difficult task since he was up against the wall and she was curled up close to him.

He walks down the ramp of the falcon to get some fresh air. Not that it mattered right? He was dead after all. Dead or alive, it still felt nice to stretch his legs. He enjoyed sleeping next to Rey but the beds in the crews quarters were just so tiny. The suns are just beginning to rise. It’s still dark out but there’s a faint orange glow where the first sun is about to peek over the horizon. 

It was so silent. Not even a gust of wind made a sound. It worried Ben. It was when it was silent when the voices would come. He can hear faint whispers in his head, too quiet to make out. They grow louder with every world. Palpatine was gone. Shouldn’t the voices be gone too? Soon, they’re loud enough to where Ben can make out what they’re saying. 

“You’re a monster” 

He immediately recognizes it as Rey’s voice from one of their force bonds

“Yes I am”

This time it’s his voice that speaks.

“Do you still count the days since your parents left you” 

Ben falls to his knees into the sand. His hands are pulling at his hair thinking that if he pulls hard enough maybe the voices… no… the memories will stop. But they don’t. 

“Your parents sold you for drinking money.” 

“You come from nothing. You’re nothing.” 

Ben begins to yell in an attempt to drown out the relentless torment of his own memories.

“Ben?” 

He turns his head around to see Rey standing behind him. She’s got a blanket wrapped around her shoulders to protect her from the cold of the brutal desert. Ben turns back around, putting his back to her. His head hangs low and he stares at the sand beneath him.

“I’m a monster Rey.” 

“Ben? What do you mean.” 

“All I ever did was hurt you.” He says. He tries to hold back his tears but they fall anyway. “You deserve better than me.” 

“Ben.” She sounds sympathetic. ‘How could she be sympathetic towards someone like me?’ Ben thinks to himself.

“You can’t change the past Ben, what happened between me and you.” Rey closes the distance between the two of them and kneels in the sand to face him. His head still hangs low in shame. “But that day on exegol Ben… you gave everything you had left up for me. You changed, and for that… I forgive you.” She crawls closer to him and hugs him. She can feel him shake beneath her hands and she rubs his back again like she did the night before. 

“You don’t have to be so hard on yourself, Ben” 

Ben wraps his arms around her and embraces her precious light.

“Thank you, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me a while to update. I wasn’t really sure where I wanted to go with this story past the first chapter so it took me a while to figure out what to write. I’ll try to update more regularly now that I have a general idea of what I want to do. Thanks for reading, I’m kind of garbage so I appreciate it <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey runs into trouble while out getting supplies.

“This is a horrible idea, Rey.” 

Ben is leaning against the wall of the falcon with his arms crossed. 

“Well I’ve got to get supplies somehow. You may be a ghost but I still have to eat,” says Rey as she gathers her things and shoves them into her white backpack. 

“Mos Eisley is crawling with criminals. You could run into some serious trouble.” 

“Nothing I can’t handle Ben. I did defeat the galaxy's most powerful sith.” Rey stops packing for a brief moment to give Ben a reassuring smile. She turns to continue gathering her things but Ben reaches out to gently grasp Rey’s hands in his. 

“I don’t want to lose you again Rey.” 

Her eyes meet his and she can see the concern in them. “I’ll be ok. Really, Ben. I’ll have you to protect me.” 

He gives her a small smile and releases her hands so she can finish gathering her things. He could feel guilt rise up in him. He didn’t want it to seem like he was underestimating her. She was strong. Stronger than he ever was. But when he held her lifeless body in his arms on exegol, it felt like his whole world had collapsed on him. He never wanted to feel that way again. He didn’t want her going out there if there was even the slightest chance of her getting hurt again. 

Rey sits in what used to be Hans seat in the cockpit. Ben wanted to sit in the seat so bad but he knew he didn’t deserve to. Not yet anyway. He never wanted to be a Jedi. Ben wanted to be like his father and hoped one day he would be worthy of piloting the falcon. Things turned out very differently than he had hoped. He thought about that a lot. What would have happened if his parents never sent him away, if he never gave into his darkness? Every time Snoke sensed these thoughts in Ben's mind he would torture him for hours. Mentally and physically. 

Rey lands the falcon on the outskirts of town wanting to keep it somewhat hidden. It was likely that the people here wouldn’t recognize the ship. The falcon had been on Jakku for years and was never recognized but it’s better to be safe than sorry. BB8 insists on tagging along. He doesn’t like being alone and Rey enjoys his company. 

Rey and Ben walk into town with BB8 rolling not too far behind and she already begins to receive suspicious looks. It’s a good thing none of these people could see Ben. His height would make him stick out like a sore thumb in this crowd. 

Ben picks up on whispers coming from people as they watch Rey walk down the sandy streets. 

“That girl is the one who came here looking for the Lars homestead. Apparently she moved in.” 

“Is she crazy? Nobody has lived there in decades.” 

“She claims she’s a Skywalker” 

“The poor girl has probably gone mad. The Skywalkers are a myth.” 

“They’re talking about you,” says Ben.

“I know,” replies Rey but she doesn’t turn her head. These people already thought she was weird. If they saw her speaking to someone who wasn’t even there they’d think she was insane. 

BB8 gives off a series of worried beeps. 

“I agree with the droid, let’s go back. It isn’t safe.” 

“We just got here. Let me just get the supplies I need and then we can go back.” 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” 

Rey purchases the things she needs and by the time she is finished she has walked all across town. It’s a long walk back to the falcon and it was scorching out so she heads into the closest cantina just to get a break from the harsh sun. The heat used to not bother her. She spent every day of her life out in the grueling heat on Jakku. However, the past year she had grown used to the cooler weather of other planets she had gotten the chance to visit while with the resistance. 

The cantina is quite crowded and the music is loud. There are creatures of all sorts at the bar drinking and having loud discussions but she tries to block out the noise and chooses a booth towards the back of the cantina in hopes of it being even the slightest bit more quiet. 

“I thought we were going right back when you finished?” 

“I’m just taking a quick break, Ben,” Rey says with a slightly irritated look on her face.

Ben sighs “I’m sorry, Rey. I’m just worried.” 

She gives him a reassuring smile “I know, Ben.”

“So what’s the pla—“ Ben cuts off his sentence and looks up. He senses someone looking at Rey. 

She looks in the direction Ben is staring and sees a man watching her from the other side of the bar. He grabs his drink and walks over towards where Rey is sitting. She can feel Ben tense up.

“It’s ok. I can handle this.” 

Ben nods but he doesn’t relax. 

The man reaches the booth Ben and Rey are sitting at and he sets his drink down at their table. Rey quickly glances at Ben and he looks clearly uncomfortable. 

‘It’s ok,’ she whispers in his head through the bond. 

“What brings a lovely little lady like yourself to a cantina like this today,” asks the strange man. He isn’t very close to Rey’s face but she can still smell the alcohol on his breath. 

“Nothing that concerns you,” Rey growls.

“No need to be so hostile,” says the stranger as he reaches over to tuck a strand of Rey’s hair behind her ear. 

Ben quickly stands up to take action. “Don’t you dare touch her yo—“ Ben doesn’t even finish his sentence when Rey looks over to see him fade away. It happened so quickly Rey doesn’t even have time to react before he’s completely gone. 

“BEN!” Rey yells out in the direction Ben just faded from.

“What’s got you all distracted now?” The man grabs her chin and forcefully jerks her head back in his direction to face him. “The only thing you should be focused on is me.” 

Rey uses the force to push the man. He flies back and crashes into the bar. All eyes in the cantina are focused on her now. All the music and chatting has stopped and it is completely silent besides the crunching of broken glass as the man tries to stand back up. 

Rey quickly sprints out of the cantina in the direction of the falcon. BB8 rolls behind her in an attempt to keep up. While running she tries to reach out to him through the bond. 

‘BEN? BEN?!!’ But there’s no answer. She can’t even feel him through the bond anymore. He was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write short chapters I’m sorry I just really want to get into the juicy stuff. What do y’all think happened to Ben??? Thanks for taking time to actually read my story. Writing this really helps me cope with the end of TROS. I hope it helps you too :))


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben wakes wakes up in a mysterious place, desperate to find a way to get back to Rey.

When Ben regains consciousness he’s lying on the ground surrounded by complete darkness. The first thing he notices is that he can’t feel Rey’s presence anymore. It felt like a piece of him was missing, leaving an empty void in the back of his mind that his connection with Rey once inhabited. 

Ben attempts to pull himself up off the floor but is met with a sharp pain in his ribs. When he tries to stand up he falls back down realizing his leg is broken. He looks down at himself and realizes instead of the gray clothing he was wearing the first time he woke up, he was now wearing the clothes he wore that day on exegol and after his attempt at standing he realized he had the same injuries as well. His clothes are torn and burnt in multiple places. There’s the hole from where Rey had stabbed him as well as tears in his pants and shirt from climbing out of the pit he had been thrown in. 

He makes another attempt to stand up, this time being cautious of the weight he places on his broken leg. His vision blurs from the pain and as it refocuses he notices the white lined pathway he stood on. It twisted and turned throughout an endless void of darkness. Ben followed the path with his eyes which seemed to go on as far as his eyes could see. 

Out of curiosity and desperation to find Rey, Ben begins to limp down the path. 

The path is lined with circular portals. White lines of light, similar to the ones that line the pathway, decorate each portal with a unique design. Ben’s curiosity gets the best of him and he stops at the first portal he comes across in hopes of it being a possible way to get out and get back to Rey. He promised he wouldn’t leave her. What was she doing right now? Was she okay? He had no doubt that she would be able to handle the drunk cantina patron herself but he couldn’t help but worry. He needed to find a way out, for Rey and for the sake of his own sanity. 

He looks into the portal where a scene of the past plays out before him. It’s a little boy with sandy blonde hair embracing a woman. 

“Will I ever see you again?” asks the boy. 

“What does your heart tell you?”

“I hope so. Yes. I guess.” Ben can see the boy is holding back tears. 

“Then we will see each other again” 

“I will come back and free you, mom. I promise.” 

“Now, be brave and don't look back. Don't look back.”

Those last words burned in his mind as he watched the boy sling his bag over his shoulder and leave his mother behind. Ben would tell himself the same thing every day after his parents sent him away. ‘Don’t look back.’ But no matter how many times he told himself that, he always found himself thinking about his past. He once told Rey to kill the past like he had but he never really killed the past. Ben’s past would always haunt him. 

Ben continues down the path and each portal he passes by shows him a different place or time in history. He stops walking when he hears a voice coming from one of the portals. It was the voice of a little girl. 

“Come back!” She yelled while attempting to pull free from the hand holding her back.

Her three small buns immediately tell Ben that this was from Rey’s past. Watching the scene unfold before him brings more pain than his broken body does. Rey deserved so much better. She didn't deserve to spend all those years alone on Jakku, waiting for her parents, relying on that tiny sliver of hope that they would come back for her one day. She had no idea the truth of what happened to them. That they were dead and they were never coming home. 

Ben spins around when he feels the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He could feel through the force something tugging at the back of his mind. Something here was calling to him.

~~~~~~

Rey is sprinting as fast as she can, weaving through crowds of people. Some yell at her in weird alien languages but she doesn't look back or stop until she reaches the falcon. She runs up the ramp and BB-8 follows close behind beeping worriedly. Rey doesn't respond to him though. She’s panicking. “Where is he? Where is he?” Her vision starts to fade and she becomes lightheaded. In her panic she didn't notice her exhaustion from running all across Mos Eisley and her heavy, panicked breathing certainly didn't help. Rey calms herself and slows her breathing. She needed to find him. Rey closes her eyes and reaches out with the force. 

“Be with me. Be with me. Be with me.”

~~~~~~~

Ben ignores the pain of his broken leg and runs as fast as he can down the path. He has no idea where he is going but he can feel in the force something calling him. He allows the force to guide him. The voices of all from the portals he passes echo in his head, muddying his thoughts.

“You were my brother Anakin”

“Only my power can save you” 

“Did you come here to save my soul?”

Ben yells in frustration in hopes of drowning out the voices of the portals but they mercilessly continue. 

“I find your lack of faith disturbing”

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

“Now young skywalker, you will die.”

All of the sudden Ben stops. To his left there is a portal. This is where the force was calling him, he can feel the force tugging him towards it. The voices continue as he approaches the portal. 

“Fear is the path to the dark side” 

“I did want to take your hand.”

The second Ben passes through the portal the voices stop. All he could hear was the crashing of waves. He takes in his surroundings and finds himself on a ledge, staring off into the vast ocean. The sky is dark and cloudy, off in the distance he sees a flash of lightning followed by the faint crack of thunder. The ledge he’s standing on is covered in a variety of vines and seaweed which all lead down into a pit. Ben carefully approaches it, not wanting to fall in. He had enough of pits. He kneels down in an attempt to get a better look but it is completely dark, preventing ben from being able to see what lies at the bottom. Ben stands back up to continue exploring when a voice catches his attention. 

“Be with me”

Ben immediately recognizes the voice as Reys

“REY?” yells Ben as he frantically looks around trying to find where her voice came from. 

“Be with me”

This time Ben hears the voice come from the pit but before he has time to react he feels an invisible force pull him in. 

The icy water hits him like a wall. He swims to the surface, ignoring the pain his kicking brings his broken leg. When he surfaces he takes in a deep breath and shakes the wet locks of hair that hung in front of his eyes out of his face. Luckily Ben was an excellent swimmer. Growing up his father had taken him to countless planets, many of which were covered in oceans or lakes so he had learned to swim early on in his life. He swims to the edge of the pool and pulls himself out. His torn and singed clothes were now also soaking wet. 

Ben turns back to look at the pool and looks up to see the hole in the ceiling he fell from when a voice from behind him catches his attention. 

“Ben?”

He spins his head around, his wet hair sends water flying with his sudden movement. When Ben turns, he sees his reflection in the wall of the cave. He limps over to the mirror, his boots squeaking with every step.

Ben inspects his reflection. ‘I look horrible,’ he thinks to himself. His left eye, which has already begun to bruise has a cut right below it and his lip is spit as well. However, the scar that once ran down the length of his face was gone. That scar reminded him every time he saw his reflection that he failed. Snoke tortured him for days after Rey defeated him on Starkiller and told him that his scar would remain as a reminder of what a disappointment he was to his grandfather’s legacy. Even though the scar was gone now, the horrible memories remained, burned into his brain. 

Without thinking, Ben lifts his hand. It was almost as if Ben had no control over his movements, however, he doesn't resist when his hand moves towards the mirror. His fingertips are inches from making contact with the mirror when the force pulls back on him so hard if feels like his soul has been ripped from his body and his vision blacks once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update AGAIN. I tried to describe the world between worlds as best as I could going off screenshots from Rebels so sorry if it wasn't phrased very well. I hope y'all like this chapter, I actually really enjoy writing this even though I am terrible at putting my thoughts into words. Thanks for reading :3


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben are visited by a certain someone

Ben’s eyes shoot open and he sucks in a deep breath. 

“BEN!” 

Ben can’t see because his eyes are still adjusting from the blinding light but he feels someone dive into his arms, almost knocking him over. Once his vision returns to normal he finds himself back of the falcon. Rey is in his arms, she’s sobbing uncontrollably. Ben hugs her and rubs her back, trying to calm her. He can see that his arms, which are wrapped around Rey tightly, are now back to their glowing blue and are in the same gray clothing from the first time he woke up, not his torn black attire from exegol. He also didn’t feel pain with every breath meaning his ribs were no longer broken and neither was his leg. 

“I was so scared,” Rey says, her voice is muffled from her face being buried in Ben’s shoulder. 

“You just disappeared. I couldn’t feel you through the bond. You were just gone.”

Ben doesn’t respond. He just rests his chin on Rey’s shoulder and closes his eyes, hugging her tighter. He couldn’t tell if she was trembling or if the violent shaking was his own involuntary movement. 

Ben feels a familiar presence through the force and Rey must have felt it too because she lifts her head from Ben’s shoulder. The two of them turn their heads to face one of the corridors of the falcon. Sure enough, standing there was the force ghost of Luke Skywalker. 

“Master Luke!” says Rey as she runs over to where he stands. She wipes her tear stained cheeks when she reaches him. “What are you doing here?” 

“I could sense something was wrong.” 

Luke looks over at Ben. “What happened?” 

Ben sits down and Rey and Luke do the same. He explains everything to them, how he had woken up with the same injuries and clothes from that day on exegol, the voices from the portals, and how the mirror had called to him. 

Luke sits in silence for a few minutes, processing all the information from Ben’s experience. 

After a while Luke speaks up. “I think I know what happened” 

“What?” asks Ben. 

“Rey you said when Ben disappeared you called out to him right?” 

“Yes”

“And Ben you could hear her voice while you were gone?” 

“Yeah” 

Luke looks back and forth at Rey and Ben. “You two have a very strong connection. Dyads in the force are not common. Such connections aren’t easily broken.” 

“What do you mean?” asks Rey.

“The place Ben woke up in is a place called the world between worlds. I’ve never seen it, but past Jedi have visited it. I kept their research with me on Ach-to.” Luke looks over to Rey, knowing she had taken the Jedi texts, preventing them from being destroyed along with the tree Luke had kept them in.

“It sounds familiar but if I read the research on it, I don’t remember the details.” 

“After Ben gave all his life force to you, he was taken to the world between worlds, but even after he died, the bond you two share didn’t break. Before Ben could wake up in the world between worlds, you subconsciously pulled Ben’s soul from his body which is why he was able to project himself as a force ghost.”

“Then why did I wake up in that place?”

“When you gave all your life force to Rey, you never became one with the force. Your body was taken to the world between worlds while Rey kept your soul with herself. The problem is, a soul cannot be separated from its body for long. You woke up in the world between worlds because your body was pulling on your soul, trying to reconnect. The bond was able to pull your soul back out from the world between worlds but sooner or later the bond won’t be able to prevent your body from reclaiming your soul.” 

“So what you’re saying is that I can't stay like this? Eventually my body will fully reclaim my soul and I’ll be stuck in the world between worlds?”

Luke nods at Ben. 

Rey's eyes are wide in shock. She can feel the tears forming and they blur her vision but she blinks them back. “No! You said it yourself master Luke, our bond is strong. We can find a way to keep him here right?” she says as she jumps from her seat. Her voice is frantic. 

Luke looks down at his clasped hands resting on his lap and shakes his head. “No bond is strong enough to stop Ben’s body from reclaiming his soul. I'm sorry, Rey. I'm sorry I wasn't much help but this is out of our control.” 

“Wait! Master Luke!” but before Rey gets the chance to ask for his help, he’s gone. She throws her hands up and yells in frustration. She looks over at Ben who is still sitting and staring off into the distance, deep in thought. 

“Ben?”

Her voice brings him back to reality. He shakes his head and looks up at Rey. “Sorry. This is just a lot to process.”

Rey holds her hand out to him but instead of taking it Ben rises to his feet and wraps her in a tight hug. Rey rests her head on his shoulder again, finding comfort in his warmth. 

~~~~~~~

Neither Rey nor Ben talk about what Luke had told them for the rest of the day. It was some odd unspoken mutual agreement they had come to. Rey continues with her day as normal and Ben accompanies her. Neither of them talk much but they enjoy eachothers company regardless. Rey could tell that Ben was acting different since Luke left, he seemed more distant. His presence was still in the back of her mind but it felt like he was suppressing his feelings, hiding something from her. 

They walk together hand in hand on an evening stroll through the desert. The twin suns are setting once again and a familiar orange glow illuminates the sand. 

Suddenly Rey stops. She lets go of Ben’s hand and turns to face him. He knows what she’s going to say. 

“You’ve been suppressing your feelings, hiding them from me. Why?” 

“I’ve just been taking a while to process what Luke said today. That’s all.” 

“I’m going to find a way to bring you back Ben,” says Rey as she begins to turn forward and resume the walk but before she can, Ben grabs her hand. 

“Rey.” 

She turns back to face him and can see the pain in his eyes. He may be hiding his feelings from the bond but she can still read his expressions and tell exactly what he’s feeling. 

Ben sighs. “Rey, you shouldn’t waste your time. Don’t risk your life for this. I’m not worth it.”

Her eyes begin to water. “How could you say that?”

“Rey, I--”

“How could you say that Ben?! You mean everything to me. I didn’t ask for this! I didn't ask for you to die saving me! Now you might be gone forever and I can’t be alone again Ben! I spent my entire life waiting to find where I belong and I found it with you. Don’t you dare take that away from me!” 

Tears are now falling freely down Rey’s face and it breaks Ben’s heart. He didn’t mean to upset her. 

“I’m sorry, Rey. It’s just that… my entire life I’ve been bad at everything. I was a horrible son, a horrible jedi, a horrible supreme leader. On exegol, I saw your lifeless body and I panicked. I couldn’t live with myself if I left you there so I did the only thing I could think of. I can’t even save you without screwing it up. I just thought that you deserved to enjoy your life and explore the galaxy. I didn’t want this whole world between worlds business to hold you back so I shut you out. I’m so so sorry Rey.”

“I know Ben, I understand … but that isn't your decision to make. I’m going to save you from the world between worlds.”

“If anyone can do it, it’s you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope y'all like my explanation for what happened to Ben, I took some inspiration from Full Metal Alchemist. I'm still making this up as I go along so I'm very very sorry if it takes me a while to update. I'm not a very good writer so I get lost in my words a lot and have to take more time to think through what I want to write. Thanks for reading :3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey returns to the resistance base with Ben

Rey’s eyes travel back and forth as they follow Ben’s movement. He’s pacing the floor and staring at the ground, obviously deep in thought. But he was shielding them from Rey and she didn’t want to pry into his mind, she already knew what was stressing him out.

“There’s nothing to worry about Ben. They won’t even be able to see you.”

“That’s hardly reassuring.” Ben stops pacing and sits down next to Rey. He folds his hands in his lap and stares at them. “It’s not them seeing me that I’m worried about.” 

“What is it then?” Rey looks at Ben but he doesn’t look up to meet her gaze. 

He takes in a deep breath and releases it slowly. “I’ve hurt those people Rey. I can‘t see them without seeing the suffering I’ve caused them.” 

Rey places her hands on top of his that are still resting in his lap. He finally looks up and meets eyes with her. “I’ll help you. We do this together.” Rey leans in to kiss him and Ben meets her in the middle. When they break apart Ben embraces her in a soft hug. They stay like that for a few minutes before Rey gets up and heads into the cockpit as they approach the atmosphere of Ajan Kloss.

She lands the falcon in its usual spot, still empty despite her being gone for a few weeks. BB-8 is the first down the ramp. He speeds over to Poe who is approaching the falcon. Rey rushes down the ramp after BB-8 to greet him but Ben stays at the top, hesitant to come down. Not wanting to make it obvious, Rey brushes up against Ben’s side of the bond. “It’ll be ok. Together, remember?”

Ben treads cautiously down the ramp.He stops at the bottom and still remains close to the falcon a few paces away from where Rey stood as the pilot continues to approach her. 

BB-8 lets out a series of enthusiastic beeps. 

Poe crouches down “I'm glad to see you too buddy.”

He stands back up to Rey’s level. “What brings you back so soon?”

“There’s a couple things I needed to check up on. I thought I’d stop by quickly and grab a few things before I head back out.”

“Come on Rey you don't have to rush off so soon. Stay for a little while. Finn won’t admit it but he misses you.” 

Rey smiles but before she responds a voice catches her attention.

“Rey!”

Rey leans to her right and glances past Poe to identify where the voice came from. Her eyes meet a figure running in her direction and she immediately recognizes it as Finn. Rey runs towards him and they embrace each other in a tight hug. 

“How have you been!? What have you been doing,” asks Finn after they separate from each other. He’s so relieved to see her. He would never admit it to Poe but he missed her a lot. 

“It’s been great, Finn.”

Finn glances over at the Falcon. “Has the Falcon been causing you any tro—”

Finn’s smile fades and he draws his blaster and aims it at something behind Rey. Rey spins her head around and sees Finn is pointing his blaster at where Ben stands near the falcon. 

“Finn wait!”

Before Rey has a time to react Finn fires his blaster at Ben but the bolt passes right through him and hits the falcon behind him.

“What the hell was that about?” yells Poe. 

“What the hell is HE doing here?” Finn fires another blaster bolt and just like the first it passes through him, this time hitting the ground causing dirt to fly up off the ground. 

Ben doesn't move, he just rolls his eyes. 

Rey steps in front of him. “Wait Finn it's ok!”

“You told me he died on Exegol.” 

“He did!” 

“Then why is he standing in the resistance base right now, Rey?” 

“Can someone explain to me what the hell is going on right now?” yells Poe. 

“He’s not going to hurt anyone Finn, he died saving me on Exegol.” 

Finn is slightly less tense now but he keeps his blaster in his hand. 

“Hello? Is anyone going to tell me what's happening?” says Poe, clearly irritated at this point.

Rey looks back and forth between Finn and Poe. “I died on Exegol. But Ben gave me all his life force to save me. He died but came back to me as a force ghost.” 

“Ben Solo as in Kylo Ren?” asks Poe. 

“He’s not Kylo Ren anymore.”

“I hardly believe that,” says Finn. He continues to intensely stare at Ben's blue figure and he tightens his grip on his blaster. 

“Finn, how can you see him?”

“He’s force sensitive,” says Ben. “I felt it on Jakku. He can feel the flow of the force more than others but can’t wield it like us.” 

“What?”

“I meant to tell you, Rey. When we were sinking in the sand on Pasaana. I just never got the chance.”

“It’s ok Finn.” Rey pulls him in for another short hug and they both look over at Poe who still appears completely clueless. 

“I still have no idea what is happening” 

~~~~~~~

“So what you’re telling me is that Ren—”

“Ben,” Rey corrects Poe.

“Right sorry, Ben died on Exegol and came back to you as a force ghost but he’s stuck in some force dimension or whatever and you came back here to find out how you can get him out?” Poe stares at Rey and she nods her head not knowing how else to respond. It sounded crazy out loud, especially hearing it the way Poe had phrased it. 

Poe then shifts his focus to Finn. “And you can see him because you’re force sensitive and you never bothered to tell me?”

“I didn’t think the end of a galactic war was really a good time to bring it up, Poe,” explained Finn. 

“Can you do what Rey does? Lift rocks and all that.”

“No. I just have these feelings. Things that I couldn't feel before.”

“Like how you felt me die on Exegol?”

Finn nods. 

“This still makes no sense.”

Ben sighs rubs his face with his hands. “This is the general of the resistance?”

Rey giggles at his reaction. 

“What? What is he saying?,” asks Poe. He's clearly annoyed that he can't see what Ben is doing or hear what he’s saying. 

“Nothing, it doesn't matter,” says Rey. 

“Even if he saved you, he still pried into our minds for resistance information, Rey. And don’t forget he completely fried your back Finn.”

Ben looks down at his lap, afraid to make eye contact with Finn or Poe, even though Poe can’t even see him. “I can’t change the past and I can’t take back what I did no matter how much I wish I could. You don't have to forgive me and I don't expect you to. All I can do is ask for you to believe me when I tell you that I’ve changed.” 

Rey turns to Poe. “He says that he doesn’t expect you to forgive him but he regrets what he did and asks that you trust that he’s changed.”

Poe takes a moment to absorb the information Rey had piled onto him the past couple hours. It all seemed so unreal. Kylo Ren had changed and was asking for forgiveness? He never would have thought he would find himself in a situation like this. “Fine,” he says. “But only because Rey seems to trust you so much.” 

“So why did you come back here for answers? I wouldn’t think that there’s some magic portal to this dimension on Ajan Kloss,” says Finn. 

“No I wouldn't think so either. I came back because I left Luke’s jedi texts here. I think maybe something in the texts will help me find a way to bring back Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me so long to update I'm so sorry life has just been so chaotic. I didn't get into my dream college, my trip to Disney World this month was cancelled, and I sat on a bus for 10 hours for a school trip just for it to get cancelled bc of coronavirus. I'll keep trying to get chapters up as soon as possible but I'm not in a very good place rn so no promises.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this makes you feel better. I'm not sure if I want to continue this story or not so let me know if I should keep writing.


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